Fear of Getting Attached.....

Hey there, it's been a while. To say life has been crazy would be an understatement. However, It's been an amazing crazy. There have been so many changes, ups and downs, whirl abouts etc..... Here we are though thriving and doing well!  Let me see, since my last post we had kids come and go twice. I took a break from being superwoman and just did enough to get by. Sometimes it took a friend or two just to get that done. Thank God for good friends and family, right? I mean, I absolutely believe God has specific friends in place for every one at specific seasons for specific help. That's just who God is, super personal knowing who we need before we do. Anyhow..... I had the opportunity to share with a friend tonight about the ups and downs of fostering. I hear it all the time as does every foster parent. "I'm afraid I'll get too attached and then be heart broke when they go". Well, if you don't get somewhat attached it makes the relationship awkward. Can you imagine not getting attached to your own children? They grow up and leave and it's not guaranteed you will see them again. I hope that's never the case but it could be. I was thinking how we attach to people all the time not knowing how the relationship will end or if it will or when it will. We jump in blindly hanging on and hoping for the best. I have had several kids come thru the youth program at church and they grow up, go to college and I hardly see them. Is it hard? Sometimes. But, I do think of what we did have and how we were a blessing to each other for that season. That's the same thing I have to do as a foster mom. I have to think "how can I be a blessing to this little human while I have responsibility for them."

    I currently have three fosters. I have had one in care for a long time. I just had 2 placed 4 days ago. I wasn't sure what to think at first. They were standoff-ish. I was standoff-ish. Just weird. I started praying for God to show me what they needed me to be. Do they want clingy? Do they want just high fives? Do they want to be alone? What are they thinking? Then the question came..... Am I going to get attached? Yes, I am. As I said earlier if we don't have some kind of attachment it is really weird. Since its still new I'm not so sure what exactly they need but they are starting to show me. They are ages 2 and 3. Girl and boy. He talks about his mommy all day and we celebrate her. He tells me what she did for him, what groceries she buys and also some things she didn't make him do. Well, tonight I asked them what they wanted to eat for dinner. He says " I need bread, cheese and a weiner." I say great hot dogs it is! With chips of course. There I am thinking I am so rocking this foster thing tonight! I make his hot dog, let him count out his chips and his yummy tea. I make my bowl which is a weiner, chili, cheese and sour cream. We all pray and his prayer was Jesus make my da da better. Amen! He takes one bite and decides he is full..... Ok, its fine, we're still adjusting.  He comes to me and taps my leg wanting my attention. So I ask "What's up buddy?" He says (Grab your tissues now...) " my mommy always lets me sit on her leg."  He gets up there and is looking at my bowl. I said "Do you want to try my dinner?" So there we are, as close as a mom and son can be sharing a dinner. Attached already? Yes. Is it ok? Absolutely. In this moment his world is ok. In this moment he knows that even though I'm a stranger I love him and will protect him. These moments make fostering and attachment worth it. Changing lives for good when they are so torn apart is more fulfilling than anything else I have ever done. So I say again, Get Attached! Love on people even when you don't know the end result. Jesus was more attached than we can ever be. He doesn't always see the end result He died for. Not everyone will be accepting of Him yet He still died because he Loved Us..... Get attached, Love kids through their pain and struggles. Get Attached when no one else will attach to them. Get attached when you know they will be leaving. I'm praying if you are on the fence about fostering or getting involved in some way this helped push you in the right direction. The world needs lots of moms and dads to kids everywhere. If you don't want to sign up to foster then be a mentor to kids at church or school. You can sow into kids wherever they are. I believe the more positive influences a kid has the better chance they have at being successful adults. Hope to share more soon but for now Ta-Ta!